Book Review: What's My Motivation?

Acting is a terrible business. A career filled with disappointment, desperation and despair. To want to be an actor one must either be  mentally ill or a masochist. That said, an actor who gets regular bit-part work can end up doing fairly well for himself, even though he fails to become a big name even among other actors.

Michael Simkins' "big break", as it were, came when he was approached by The Guardian to write a weekly column about his life and experiences as a nobody. Over the course of a few years, these snippets were enough to be able to be combined and compiled into a single volume, and What's My Motivation was born. We budding actors are better off for it. Not only is the book honest and an incredible insight into the world of the theatre for both actors and non-actors, it is well written, easily read, and extremely funny.

Describing Simkins' career from his first teenage encounter with Gilbert and Sullivan through his time at RADA (where he became close friends with Timothy Spall and Juliet Stevenson) the memoir - Simkins is not famous enough to write an autobiography - charts twenty-five years of playing stalwarts and unsuspecting cuckolds, appearing in supermarket fire safety promotional videos and being cut from adverts with Rik Mayall. While reading, one cannot help but learn and laugh at the same time. Devoid of self-pity or resentment, Simkins thanks his lucky stars for having been able to work almost solidly since graduating. As he is very quick to highlight, only 10% of self-defined actors are working at any one time; the trick is to be in that 10%. Hardly an easy task, but made easier by lowering one's expectations of stardom and simply taking what is available.

Apart from its self-deprecating humour, the book is a charming read because of its sheer honesty about the author and his colleagues. Far from being scurrilous or gossipy, Simkins is a professional to the end by praising other, more commercially successful actors by name and deciding to omit any defining details when it comes to bad behaviour. Among the fellow actors he picks out for special mention are A-listers John Malkovitch, Anthony Perkins, and Only Fools and Horses star Buster Merryfield. He also has some cracking anecdotes and standard actor jokes. The episode dealing with a girlfriend's prank gone wrong while on repertory tour and the tale of reading disturbng medical records which double as police files in The Bill are particular favourites of this reviewer; while the one about the actor's wife who gets raped by his agent is probably one of the best instances of dark comedy ever. The book is doesn't shy away from personal matters, describing Simkins' disatrous relationship history, his first dabble with alcohol at 22 years old, and his lacklustre wooing of and eventual settlement with wife Julia Deakin. He also revels in the mundanity of everyday British life: not one driver will fail to understand Simkins' frustration in his attempt to buy car insurance, nor his inability to keep from slagging off his rivals.

In a way, the book is much like a humourous film following a lifelong secondary character; a true account of the man with four lines in the latest episode of Casualty. This should be required reading for anyone harbouring dangerous dramatic desires: if they still want to ruin their lives after reading Simkins' story, then there's nothing more you can do. Give up and hope for the best.

Now, which way to the Job Centre? I'll need something to keep me going while I work towards that 10%...